Awesome Saucejust like mom used to make!
AwesomeSauce
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Name: Awesome
Country: United States
State: New York


Interests: capturing the essence of human emotion through the art of sauce and songwriting.
Expertise: pleasure, pain, frustration, elation, misanthropy, philanthropy...


Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website


Member Since: 9/8/2003

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Wednesday, December 26, 2007

i'm still alive. i think.

awesome sauce


Thursday, May 06, 2004

I don't want anyone to know that I stooped so low...

Alcohol and lonliness is a dangerous combination. I've seen it overwhelm quite a few people, tempting them into doing things that solicit regret. To all the ladies out there: you're ugly, and he's a jerk. Never hook up with a drunk guy.


You're Pretty Ugly, but There's No One Cute Around (click here to hook up!)

twelve beers and i'm wasted
i'm sitting by myself
this chick is so nasty
but there is no one else

get another pint
and i'll give you a shot
if i'm drunk enough
then i'll find you somewhat hot

oh girl, you're pretty ugly
but there's no one cute around
i don't care if we hook up
don't let anyone find out
please just keep your mouth closed
please just keep your mouth closed
i don't want anyone to know
that i stooped so low

tell me that you like me
and that you want romance
say that you want to date me
but you have got no chance

follow me around
for everything i do
like a puppy dog
you've got the face of one too

oh girl, you're pretty ugly
but there's no one cute around
i don't care if we hook up
don't let anyone find out
please just keep your mouth closed
please just keep your mouth closed
i don't want anyone to know
that i stooped so low

don't try to guilt me
into a relationship
when will you notice
i don't really give a shit
so open up your eyes and see
i'd rather run wild and free
'cos you're just too damn ugly

oh girl, you're pretty ugly
but there's no one cute around
i don't care if we hook up
don't let anyone find out
please just keep your mouth closed
please just keep your mouth closed
i don't want anyone to know
that i stooped so low

oh girl, you're pretty ugly
oh girl, you're pretty ugly
oh girl, you're pretty ugly
oh girl, you're one ugly b!tch


Saturday, February 14, 2004

No better way to spend Valentine's Day

Awesome Sauce is back!

i've been in the habit of referring to valentine's day as "thanksgiving" for a while now. if you have someone to spend the day with, you should be thankful. but... if you don't, then you should be even more thankful you don't have to deal with a significant other that drives you insane. so hold your girlfriend, boyfriend, or alcoholic beverage and remember you've got a lot to be thankful for.

this song goes out to all those unhappy on valentine's day.


Valentine's Day (click here to be thankful!)

moments of happiness
or so you think
but everything you do
pushes me to drink

so i tried to think of what i should do
for this occasion so special for you

there is no better way to spend valetine's day
than to let you know we'll go our separate ways

i think it's time
for us to put
this in the past

so now it's time
for me to dump
your big fat ass

it's over



be sure to check in again. there's a lot more Awesome Sauce to come!


Saturday, September 27, 2003

Deep inside I know it's true

nearly every songwriter has written a song about it. it's an agonising event that brings out torturous emotions in us all. for me, it draped me with a blanket of the most tormenting pain i have experienced. so here's my testament to the painful life after a breakup. i call it forever blue.

... it's about my testicles


Forever Blue (click here to feel blue!)

girl since you left me i've been feeling so bad
it's the worst pain i think i ever had
i haven't got laid, 'cos i see you no more
let's try again, since we've done it before

how many times have we travelled this road
once more won't hurt, 'cos i'm about to explode

deep inside i know it's true
my balls will be forever blue
deep inside i am afraid
never again, will i get laid

c'mon baby, you know it ain't wrong
i haven't touched you in god knows how long
a burning passion, how i miss your kiss
it burns so bad, but it might be syphilis

so hurry up and get rid of the skirt
the longer we wait, girl, the more it hurts

deep inside i know it's true
my balls will be forever blue
deep inside i am afraid
never again, will i get laid

don't hell me how it hurts
how it hurts for you
you can't feel the pain
your testicles aren't blue

deep inside i know it's true
my balls will be forever blue
deep inside i am afraid
never again, will i get laid


Friday, September 19, 2003

I Need a Getaway...

everyone tells me that girls love it when a guy can write songs, especially if he also plays guitar. i wrote this song for a girl, and subsequently serenaded her. it didn't work well at all. i wonder why...

(oh, and i apologise in advance for the vocals and guitar playing.)


Getaway (click here to get away!)

come home from a long day
so tired of working so hard
i'll call you up to say
you're such a f@cking retard

unleash on you profanity
and you'll question my sanity

you say i, i need a getaway
but i really need to get away from you (it's true)
i don't know what to say
so frustrated and i owe it all to you (you're screwed)

i'll calm down for a bit
i don't want to scream and shout
you'll lay on more bullsh!t
and it's time to curse you out

unleash on you profanity
and you'll question my sanity

you say i, i need a getaway
but i really need to get away from you (it's true)
i don't know what to say
so frustrated and i owe it all to you (you're screwed)

i hear all day
your screams and your cries
take me away
from your words full of lies

i need a getaway
but i really need to get away from you (it's true)
i don't know what to say
so frustrated and i owe it all to you (screw you)

i need a getaway
but i really need to getaway from you (it's true)
i don't know what to say
so frustrated and i owe it all to you (i hate you)

i hate you.



it didn't land me in her good graces, but i did catch her humming the tune a few times.



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